Highlights from the March 2026 Grandparents Faith Café
“I Will Never Forget You”
Featuring Keynote Speaker Tara Rafter — Motivational Speaker, Life Coach & EVOKE Irish Life Coach of the Year 2025
Tuesday, 10 March 2026 · Online via Zoom
On Tuesday, 10 March 2026, Grandparents from across the world gathered online for the monthly Grandparents Faith Café, hosted by the Catholic Grandparents Association. The theme for this beautiful evening was drawn from Pope Francis’ message for the World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly: “I Will Never Forget You” — words that speak to the heart of everything Grandparents are and do.
Our keynote speaker was Tara Rafter, a Master NLP Practitioner, Executive Coach, and Motivational Speaker from the west of Ireland — and the proud EVOKE Irish Life Coach of the Year 2025. Tara brought warmth, wisdom, and practical insight in equal measure, drawing on eight years of work with clients across all walks of life. She is also, as CGA Founder Catherine Wiley delighted in telling us, her beloved niece.
Catherine herself opened the evening with a reflection on Lent, the power of small acts of kindness, and the scriptural promise from Isaiah: “See, I have carved you on the palm of my hand.” She reminded us that God does not simply write us on His hand — He carves us there. As Grandparents, we understand that language. Our grandchildren are engraved on our hearts, carried in our prayers, held in our love.
The session was closed with a beautiful blessing from Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier, Archbishop Emeritus of Durban, South Africa.
“You may never fully see the impact you have on your grandchildren. But the love, the faith, and the kindness you give them becomes part of the tapestry they carry forth in the world.”
◆ Tara’s Five Key Points for Grandparents
Tara structured her talk around five powerful, practical points — each one drawn from her years of work in neuro-linguistics, trauma-informed coaching, and her own experience as a mother. Here is a summary of each.
1. Your Words Are Like Magic Wands
Of all the gifts Grandparents give, few are more powerful — or more lasting — than the words they speak. According to Tara, the words we say to our grandchildren very often become their inner voice in later life. Beliefs are formed when information is repeated consistently, over time, by someone held in high regard. That is precisely what Grandparents are.
‘I work with people all over the world,’ Tara shared, ‘and so often when I meet someone in a senior position who carries a deep inner sense of self-belief, and I ask them — whose voice is that? — it is so frequently a Grandparent’s.’
She encouraged every Grandparent to ask themselves: what words do I want my grandchildren to remember from me? When those words are repeated with love and consistency, they become the tape that plays in a grandchild’s mind for the rest of their lives — even long after we are gone. Your words carry legacy.
“Even when you are not together, you are together. Your words carry legacy.”
2. Regulation Comes Before Resolution
When a grandchild — or anyone we love — is upset, our instinct is often to fix things immediately. Tara’s second point invites us to pause before we problem-solve. ‘Your state in any interaction will dictate what happens next,’ she explained. ‘Children borrow the nervous system of the adults around them. If you are calm and steady, they feel that.’
Emotions, she reminded us, are energy in motion — which means they come up, and they come back down. The key is to name them in order to tame them. Rather than jumping in with solutions, try saying: ‘I can see that you’re really upset by that. That must be really hard. Help me to understand what that feels like for you.’ In that moment, the other person feels seen, heard, and understood — which is what every human being, of every age, truly wants.
A simple tool for regulating yourself first: breathe in slowly through the nose, and exhale slowly through the mouth. That signal tells your nervous system: I am safe. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give a grandchild is our own calm presence.
3. The Power of Your Presence
We live in a world moving faster than ever before, and what people — especially children — are craving most is simply for someone to sit with them. Not to fix things. Not to perform. Just to be there, fully present, fully interested.
Tara cited a study of children aged 8 to 12 who were asked: how do you know that you are loved? Not one of them mentioned a gift or a birthday surprise. Every child said: I know I am loved when someone takes the time to play with me.
Children spell love T-I-M-E. And this applies just as much across the miles. If you connect with grandchildren by Zoom or FaceTime, keep a small notebook nearby. Write down three things they tell you about their world. Ask about them next time. In that moment, they feel seen and understood — and that is what unconditional love looks like in practice.
‘You are the constant in a world that is constantly in flux,’ Tara said. ‘The same chair. The same radio station. The familiar smells and sounds. These things are not small. They are where safety lives.’
“You are the anchor, the constant, the lighthouse in the storm.”
4. Passing on the Faith in Ordinary Moments
Faith, Tara reminded us, is rarely passed on through big speeches or grand gestures. It is passed on in the tiny rhythms of daily life: grace before meals, lighting a candle, a quiet prayer when an ambulance passes, a blessing at the door.
‘Children watch how we live the faith far more than they listen to what we say,’ she said. Her ten-year-old son Kai automatically blesses himself when an ambulance drives past — because he has watched his parents do it his whole life. At his school, there is a statue of Our Lady, and every morning he says: ‘Please Mary, let me have a good day.’ These tiny, ordinary gestures will transcend generations.
What small habit could you form with your grandchild that will last? It doesn’t have to be grand. You could light a candle together on a FaceTime call, each of you on opposite sides of the world. Keep it simple, keep it consistent, and it will last.
5. You Matter More Than You Know
Many Grandparents quietly wonder whether they are still needed — whether they are truly making a difference. Tara’s answer was clear and heartfelt: you are. You may not always see it. But the love, the faith, and the kindness you pour into your grandchildren’s lives becomes part of the tapestry of who they are.
Drawing on the work of trauma therapist Dr Gabor Maté, Tara reflected on the fact that humans often bury their true selves in order to be accepted. But Grandparents offer something rare: a place where grandchildren can take off all the masks they wear for the world. Where they are fully known, fully accepted, and fully loved. That is a sacred gift.
She also offered a gentle reminder to Grandparents themselves: please look after you. The four pillars of wellbeing — physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual — must all be tended to. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
“God does not forget us. And the love we give to our families is never, ever wasted.”
◆ A Moment from the Floor
One of the most moving contributions of the evening came from Betty M., who shared that she had been that child — the youngest of ten, often overlooked, spending hours in her imagination. One afternoon, when others were laughing at her, her mother said quietly: “Do not say a word to Betty. At the end of the day, she’ll be better than any of you.”
Betty didn’t fully understand it at the time. But as life went on, whenever she faced something truly hard, she would ask: Mam, would you be proud of me if I did this? And in her heart, she would hear her mother say: yes, Betty, I’m very proud of you.
‘I modelled my life on my mum,’ she said, ‘because she modelled hers on Our Lady.’
Tara’s response was simply: ‘I’m proud of you, Betty. Your mother said one thing, to the right person, at the right moment — and it carried you through a whole life. That is legacy. That is love.’
◆ A Blessing to Close
Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier brought the evening to a close with a prayer for all who care for others — a prayer that felt entirely fitting for a gathering of Grandparents who give so much of themselves, so quietly, every day. He prayed for healing, for wisdom, for comfort for the grieving, and for those who carry heavy burdens. He blessed everyone present in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
It was, as these evenings so often are, a reminder that faith, friendship, and a warm cup of tea — even across a Zoom screen — can make the whole world feel a little safer.
“I will never forget you.” — Isaiah 49:15
Join Us Next Month
The next Grandparents Faith Café takes place on Tuesday, 14 April 2026,
featuring Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier, Archbishop Emeritus of Durban, South Africa.
Free and open to all.